After gaining a greater understanding of narcissism and doing the work to heal from your personal wounds, it is essential to maintain a couple of issues in thoughts to interrupt the cycle and keep away from that legacy of narcissism, which Behary talked about. Which means doing all the things in your energy to maintain your kids from having the identical expertise and growing up to be narcissists themselves.
Some of the essential components is permitting your baby to expertise some separation from you, in accordance with psychoanalyst Laurie Hollman, Ph.D.
“There’s a stage of kid growth known as separation-individuation throughout the first three years of life,” Hollman writes in her e-book Are You Living With a Narcissist? “That is when the kid should work out his must really feel near an admiring mom whereas additionally creating a wholesome separation the place he can tolerate that he’s not all-powerful and grandiose.” In different phrases, enable your baby to develop their very own identification aside from you, and to really feel protected doing so.
On the similar time, it is essential for fogeys to set limits–especially in the event that they’re anxious about elevating a future narcissist. Some dad and mom battle to self-discipline, particularly those that are people-pleasers because of themselves being raised with narcissistic dad and mom. However kids require wholesome limitations.
“The kid wants [his mother] to set limits in order that he is aware of easy methods to relate to others in a approach that’s acceptable,” Hollman writes. “If he’s too highly effective, he expects that he’s entitled to greater than a baby ought to have.”